The Search for Sgt. Button

Did you know that the more buttons you have on your clothes the more likely people are to smile at you? Button-up shirts, button-fly jeans, and anything as cute as a button knows this and takes full advantage of this technology. In fact, everyone is born with one button on their belly to ensure that everyone receives at least some smiles. And yet no one in the history of buttons has managed to wear so many and receive so many smiles as the most amiable Sergeant Button. His is a kind of glory that one might only dream of.

I personally have never seen Sgt. Button directly, though I have often caught fleeting glimpses. Sometimes a reflection darting away, sometimes a footprint that disappears of its own volition nearly as quickly as it was left. Of the few times he has contacted me, it has always been in a shadowed corner, movie theater hallway, or some other inconspicuous dark passage. His words are mostly brief and enigmatic and sometimes he merely points at my pocket where I find he has already innocuously left a button. If I am lucky it will be magic, though training a magic button is not always easy. Each button’s magic is unique and only the Sergeant can be sure of its true potential. For this reason, we are currently searching for him.

Traditionally only his band is truly informed as to his whereabouts, though they have historically been known to be in search of him more often than not. Rumor has it that Sergeant Button may even be looking for them. To take full advantage of this hearsay we have decided to dress as his band and assume their identities for the duration of this year’s Kinetic Grand Championship. Our theme…

Magic Buttons

What makes a button magic? Buttons bind things, they hold two together. They pass through portals and glimmer with glamour. All buttons are magical, some more than others. 

In case of existential crisis: press magic button. Not all magic buttons are the same, each has its own special skill and talent. Get to know your magic button, pay attention after you press it. See what happens and help train your button to hone its powers. Magic buttons have been known to increase gratitude, forgiveness, paradigm shifts and more!

What is an existential crisis? An existential crisis is a dilemma whose hazards are entirely the result of being self aware. By pressing a magic button you can resolve nearly any problem that is almost entirely in your head and still maintain your self awareness (unlike alcohol, television and other vices). 

Learn to work with Magic Buttons with the help of Sgt Button! If you have any information as to the whereabouts of Sgt Button Please report immediately to the Kinetic Paranormal Society.